He was born Michael Hall.

Hall. Very close to the word hell. Home of none other than the devil.

Michael. One of God's principal angels, Saint Michael led the good angels against the devil and his followers through the battles of heaven.

Anthony. He added this as part of his stage name. St. Anthony is one of the most beloved saints.

Perhaps these choices of name were entirely deliberate, chosen to mock his enemies, or perhaps out of scorn or jealousy.

Anthony Michael Hall. Eighteen letters.

666. 6+6+6=18! Do you need any more proof???

He was born in Massachusetts, a state notorious for the Salem witch trials, where witches were killed for their association with the devil.

Began drinking alcohol when he was 13. By the time he was 18, it was taking over his life. No wonder he appeared in a movie called Six Pack. See? He started sinning early and often. Who goes to hell? Brats. What was he a member of? Why, the Brat Pack, of course.

His favourite character he ever played was Bill Gates in "Pirates of Silicon Valley". He thought it was fun playing the richest man in the world. Hmmm...loves the thought of power.

Starred in the t.v. series The Dead Zone. The devil hosts a little dead zone of his own called Hell.

Starred in Exit In Red, which is exactly what sinners do when they die and see themselves engulfed in hellfire!

Starred In The Breakfast Club. Can you think of a more apt metaphor for hell than high school detention?

Starred in 2 Little, 2 Late, which is exactly how the devil feels about last ditch begging for mercy.

Cameo in Blunt. And is a blunt not a way to inhale marijuana (aka the devil's weed)?

Starred In The Grave. And what is a grave but a gateway to hell?

Played a cold blooded killer in The Killing Grounds.

Starred in Bucket Of Blood. Another ruthless killer.

Starred in Into The Sun. The only thing hotter than the sun? Hellfire!

Starred in Six Degrees Of Separation. What's hellfire measured in? Degrees. Six degrees of separation. Sounds like being drawn and quartered (beheaded and his body cut into quarters, one arm or leg to a quarter). I'm sure when it's done in hell the penis being lopped off accounts for the sixth separation!

Starred in Sixteen Candles. Candles are lit with...fire!

Starred in 61* as Yankees pitcher Whitey Ford. At the time of filming, the team was owned by George Steinbrenner, a man who's sold his soul to the devil so the Yankees can win.

Starred in Out Of Bounds. Is there a place more out of bounds than hell?

Starred in Cold Night Into Dawn, a movie about a plot to annihilate the city of Chicago. First Chicago, then the world?

Starred in Who Do I Gotta Kill? Everyone if he has his way. He must be stopped!

And if you're still not convinced...he starred in Revenge, aka Fallen Angel. And who is the most famous fallen angel? Lucifer. I rest my case.

We all know of the woman named Cher
Who feels her body needs constant repair
This diva has plenty of money
Thanks to a career launched by Sonny
To replace each old part with a spare

There's that freak Michael Jackson
Didn't you used to be black, mon?
On innocent young boys he preys
Earning their trust, then he says
"Pull out your willy for me to whack, son."

Then there's that guy named Brad Pitt
He must really be some kind of twit
Or maybe playing soldier in Troy
Has changed his preference to boy
Who could tire of sucking Jennifer Aniston's tit?

We all know the sensuous Angelina Jolie
But she could be man's ultimate folly
If she sucks enough guys' c*cks
With lips so swollen from Botox
Osmosis will poison their peckers, by golly!

That poor old pope named Jean Paul
His death watch continues to enthrall
But one day he indeed will croak
We'll await a puff of white smoke
So keep the College of Cardinals on call!

How about that slut Britney Spears?
The only thing she's good for is leers
Her ass makes dicks throb
As does her boob job
Too bad her music's so hard on the ears

Then there's her first boy toy Justin
After whom many young girls are lustin'
The dude must be on crack
'Cause he acts like he's black
His scrawny ass is in need of a good bustin'

There's that other strange Jackson, Janet
Who must think we live on some other planet
Her and Timberlake's Super Bowl junction
Did not produce a wardrobe malfunction
It was staged plain and simple, so can it!

American idol judge Simon Cowell
His rude comments make viewers howl
The only way to explain
Why in the ass he's a pain
Is he suffers from an irritable bowel

Idol runner-up Aiken, Clay
Many fans would like to lay
It takes more than a great bod
To get him to shoot his wad
You also must be 100 per cent gay

I hate that annoying Pauly Shore
A drill into his head they should bore
He's in need of a lobotomy
Just the very thought of me
Performing the drilling myself I adore

The infamous Lewinsky named Monica
Surely less of a Betty than a Veronica
That stain on her dress
Sure caused quite a mess
After playing Bill's dong like a harmonica

That shrimp of an actor Tom Cruise
Ask him to reveal his height, he'll refuse
The dude is so short
It's my duty to report
He needs a boost up on the toilet when he poos

That conservative Limbaugh named Rush
Of his party's war on drugs he would gush
Until to painkillers he became addicted
A habit indisputably self-inflicted
Now hypocrite's big mouth someone should shush

I wrote a poem a while back. It wants an audience. Unfortunately for you, you're that audience.

When something worse than gas

Keeps erupting from your ass

It's diarrhea

With little warning does it come

Upon your unsuspecting bum

It's diarrhea

What an oderiferous flux

A curse from your buttocks

It's diarrhea

When you're plagued by the runs

Gushing through your buns

It's diarrhea

Prepare to squat when you got 'em

They'll keep flowing out your bottom

It's diarrhea

When your stool becomes briny

Sit down your little hiney

It's diarrhea

You won't even have to push

It's gonna come out your tush

It's diarrhea

It's a very messy dump

Bursting from your rump

It's diarrhea

A relentless flood will descend

From the crack of your rear end

It's diarrhea

That noisy rumbling in your gut

Will find it's way out your butt

It's diarrhea

What's that got you so annoyed?

Irritates your hemorrhoid?

It's diarrhea

The source of a reek, so heinous

Splattering from your anus

It's diarrhea

That liquid form of doody

Exploding from your booty

It's diarrhea

With jet propulsion it shoots

Overpowering your glutes

It's diarrhea

From out of you it streaks

Between your helpless cheeks

It's diarrhea

With ease it dissects them

Spurting out your rectum

It's diarrhea

Wait, no need to feel so dismal

There's always Pepto-Bismol

At last...no more diarrhea!

Albion Top

Are You Orion Top?

Ashley's Auburn Hills

Boyne Boy Action

Chelsea's Pleasant Ridge

Crystal Falls For A Carney

Dexter and Charlotte Dundee Dirty Deed

Flushing Gaylords In Fruitport

Get Your Naubinway Deep

Gowen Down On Holly

Ionia In Irons In Bedford De Night

Ironwood

Lancing Leslie In Lansing

Let's Bangor On Beaver Island

Linwood, Would You?

Oh My God! Mio My!

Paw Paw And Peck Shelby In Paradise

Watch Monroe Mount Morris

Woodhaven

Woodland

If Dr. Seuss Was A Woman

I'm glad I'm a woman-Yes Iam, yes I am.

I don't live on Budweiser, Beer nuts and Spam.

I don't brag to my buddies about my erections:

I won't drive to Hell before asking directions.

I act nice at parties; don't act like a clown;

And I know how to put the damn toilet seat down.

I won't grab your boobies; I won't pinch your butt.

My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut.

I don't go around readjusting my croutch;

or make sure my headboard bears each hard-earned notch.

I don't belch in public; don't scratch my behind.

and thrilled I'm not covered in shag carpeting.

Hair won't grow from my ears, or cover my back.

And when I bend down You can't see my crack.

I'm a woman, alas-and I'm proud, don't you see?

I'm blessed to have two boobs and squat when I pee.

I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball.

I don't swagger and spit like a neanderthal.

I don't need malebonding; I don't cruise for chicks-

I'll never join the "Hair Club," or think with my dick.

I'm a woman, by chance and thankful I am!

I'm so glad I'm a woman, Not a man, yes I am!

---------

I'm glad I'm a man-Yes I am, yes I am.

I'm in and I'm out, wham, bam, thank you ma'am.

I go hunting and fishing, golfing and boating.

No bemoaning water retention, or gaseous bloating.

I don't worry whether dessert will go to my hip.

And when I feel like farting, I just let 'er rip.

I don't constantly ask women if my butt looks fat.

Man's friend is a dog, not an antisocial cat!

When you watch your soaps, I don't sit there and nag.

If I wanted to look nice, I'd become a fag.

I don't obsess over my nails, I'm no friend of emery.

I don't commit every argument forever to memory.

When there's a game on, please leave me to the tube.

When it comes to conversing, I'd rather fondle your boob.

I'll cook if you don't mind Kraft dinner for two.

But housework is your job so don't sit and stew.

I couldn't care less about your biological clock ticking.

Any more of your lip, and I'll give you a licking.

I don't gossip for hours, hogging the phone.

Don't ask what I'm thinking, I do it with my bone.

I work hard for a living, don't call me a slob.

Please get me a beer, a massage, a blow job.

If I take you to dinner and a movie, be prepared to put out.

Would it kill you to experiment, that's what I'm talking about!

I'm forever grateful to have been born with a penis.

Surely your bitchiness stems from envy on Venus.

The answers can be found below.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Answers:

1) horse (Easy Goer)

2) human (Jennifer Capriati)

3) horse (Smarty Jones)

4) human (William H. Macy)

5) human (Celine Dion)

6) horse (Spectacular Bid)

7) human (Sarah Jessica Parker)

8) horse (Seattle Slew)

9) human (Tom Waits)

10) human (Julia Roberts)

11) horse (Secretariat)

12) horse (Mr. Ed)

13) human (Venus Williams)

14) human (Lyle Lovett)

15) horse (Affirmed)